So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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