The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
