i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
