what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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