"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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