You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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