I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he was CRYING into my vagina
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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