1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
