You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I think Iβve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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