Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
