BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
