Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
