dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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