My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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