I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
