Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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