I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
