is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
