Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?