Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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