Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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