I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
