this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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