She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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