If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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