We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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