my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm like, not good at living.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
