Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am available for nakedness
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize