happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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