You're earring is so big in my mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
