If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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