If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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