Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
