dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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