I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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