The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
