So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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