Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I supernannyed him into submission
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize