Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
