So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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