Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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