moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
