Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
