it wasn't lemon gatorade
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
