no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize