I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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