I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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