Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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