im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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