"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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