After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
