all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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