I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
