A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
