Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
