I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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