i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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