so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
